halloween madness and cuppy cakes
by nelly the crazy yaoi ninja
Summary: Dave is sex deprived...VERY sexed deprived. Lets see the outcome shall we?   halloween yaoi threesome fic   LEMON LEMON LEMON!


**This is my very first homestuck one-shot fanfic. I really hope you all enjoy it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything; I don't own the song or the Homestuck characters. But I do own this epic one-shot idea that was born and nursed into the insanity that you are witnessing now.**

**Warning: This is a perverted one-shot. This contains sexy Eridan, some Karkat x John stuff, a deprived Dave, sexy Halloween costumes, and the molestation of a cupcake, a slightly ooc Karkat, and lots of lemon with a twist of lime. (Ps: this is my first homestuck fanfic, as well as my first lemon one shot)**

**You have been warned**

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><p>Everyone was partying and partying hard at Gamzee's house. He had invited everyone for a Halloween party he was hosting and nearly everyone came. The song called 'Bath rhymes' was roaring across the whole house, everyone dancing really close and moving their body's to the awesome yet silly song. Everyone was having fun at the kick-ass party that was taking place at the moment. Well, everyone except for…<p>

"Hay, Davve!"

Yes, Dave. He was now currently standing in the corner trying his best not to be a party pooper. Usually he would be the life of the party, but this night was different. Dave was to pissed, and pissed for one thing and one thing only.

He was sex deprived.

Now you may be laughing at this as of this moment but this was some serious business, well, for Dave Strider it was. Dave was the man that could hook up with any chick he wanted, and get any booty call he desired. But he has been holding off for two weeks now. TWO WEEKS. Sure he had a long list of chicks he could call but some jerk swiped it while he wasn't looking; and when Dave finds that no good son of a bitch he was going to-

"Hay land wweller, wwhat's the matter?" Dave snapped out of his brooding to see the see Eridan standing in front of him in his hooker costume…Oh god. "Uhm, wwhy are you staring at me like that?"

"What?" Dave looked up "I'm sorry, repeat that?" Dave was, indeed, staring at Eridan. His slim figure and how well he seemed to have fit the outfit, his soft looking skin, his probably easy to bruise legs and not to mention that cute ass.

Oh god…

This was not good, Dave was practically so horny that even the walking sushi was looking delectable.

"Yeah, so like, havve you seen Fef? She was supposed to meet me here with Sollux. She said there wwas something she wwanted to try out, or something." Dave sighed and shook his head.

"Sorry bro didn't see her" Eridan sighed as he walked away. Then Dave let out a long hold of his breath himself. God, everyone looked so terribly good to him, not saying his friends weren't cute before, but the state he was in now he felt that it increased their look factor greatly. Hell, he was even ogling ERIDAN.

God, he needed to cool off and quick. Maybe the kitchen would be his sanctuary.

As Dave made his way to the kitchen he noticed how everyone was getting some, and not him. In the corner Gamzee was kissing on Travos, even Vriska and Jade was on the dance floor having a good lip locking time. Dave grunted as he went into the empty kitchen, well except for John who was currently devouring the whole plate of cupcakes set on the table.

"Hay Dave, what's the matter?" Dave grumbled in response, "Wow, someone's grouchy today" Dave then noticed Egbert's costume. He was dressed as cat with the black halter top, a pair of black shorts with a white tail sticking out, and a pair of ears resting on his head and black fingerless gloves on his hands.

"Egbert, why are you wearing a halter top?"

"Oh, I thought it would look good with the outfit…Wait… Is this a girl's shirt?" Dave sighed and shook his head at his far too gullible friend.

"Hay, Nooksucker!" Dave groaned, he was not in the mood for Karkats shit today especially not in this condition-

Oh. My. God

Karkat walked into the kitchen, his usual scowl on his face. His costume was not something Dave had expected. He was dressed as a lady bug with a sleeveless red and black striped tank top and red suspender's to match. Red and black striped sox clung to his thin legs; he also wore a pair of black boots. The antennas rested on his head and the wings were on his back.

Dave busted into a fit of snickers as he saw the proud troll dress as something so, so… CUTE!

"Shut your fucking face you Nooksucker" Karkat growled "I was told this was the most fearful thing in the stupid pile of useless rock you call a planet." Karkat snarled "And from the looks of this gogdamn thing, I believe they are right" Dave rolled his eyes at the poor fool.

"Did John tell you this?"

"Yes, and what's it to you fuck face?"

"Oh, I just thought you would like to know that John lied to you, probably just to get you into an outfit that is nearly as disgracing as his"

"YOU, SON OF A NOOKSUCKING BITCHES!" Karkat screamed at John who only laughed sheepishly

"Sorry Karkat," John said in-between his giggles "It was a prank, I didn't think you would take it seriously" Dave said wiping a tear from his eye.

"YOU FUCKING HOOF SUCKING BASTARD!"

"Oh my Karkat, That's not very lady like of you" Dave smirked as the troll turned a bright shade of red.

"I'll fucking castrate you- mmf!" Karkat's insult was quickly interrupted when a cupcake had been forced into his mouth. Quickly spiting out the delectable pastry Karkat glared at the culprit.

"Gogdamn it Egbert!" Karkat shouted "I don't want to eat any of your shitty excuse for a cupcake!" John pouted.

"Aw, come on Karkat. Its really good and you know it!" John said.

"The cupcake taste like shit" Karkat hissed in response.

"Is there any beer here?" Tired of the bickering, Dave too it upon himself to find himself some thing to drink. So he started looking through the fridge. Deciding to close it back once he only saw faygo and more faygo.

"Oh gog, how much faygo can one man drink?" Karkat said disgusted at the insane amount of faygo in the fridge.

~0~time skip cause I'm lazy~0~

After Dave had finally managed to grab a few beers' John, Karkat and Dave decided to have a few.

"I'm bored," John whined "Dave, entertain me" Dave snorted and gulped his beer, completely forgetting about his 'sexual' issues. Being able to hang out with his bro's was distracting him.

"I'm not lil' Cal John, find some other way to entertain yourself bro" John sighed and looked over at Karkat who was glancing from time to time at the plate of left over cupcakes.

"Hay Karkat~" He purred.

Jumping slightly, Karkat panicked that he had been found out he was secretly craving the marvelous earth treat that was cupcakes. Trying to play it off Karkat crossed his arms and pulled on his 'what the hell do you want' face.

"What the fuck is it, Egbert?" John giggled and held up a vanilla flavored cupcake.

"You want to enjoy a cupcake don't you?" Karkat made a face of disgust as he looked at the pasty.

"There is no mother fucking way you can ever make me enjoy that piece of shit you call food" John moved the cupcake closer to the trolls face and giggled again.

"Well I know a better way you can enjoy it" John pushed the cupcake towards Karkats mouth and darted out his tongue and started to slowly licking the vanilla off the miniature cake, looking at Karkat, signaling to follow his lead.

Karkat went red in the face, wanting to complain but resisted the urge to do so and slowly lick the white fluffy mess. The sugar that was now on the trolls tongue was heavenly. The taste of the sweet vanilla and the rush of the sugar were sinfully good. Resisting the urge to moan Karkat swirled his tongue around one side of the cupcake while John followed suit.

Dave stared, dumb struck as he witnessed John and Karkat share an indirect kiss…With a cupcake. Dave felt his jeans get a little tighter, and his body slowly growing hotter with each passing second as he watched the make out session take place in front of him.

Not even bothering to keep his noises of pleasure down, John decided to kick things up a notch. As the last bit of icing was removed by Karkat and his tongue, John placed the molested cupcake back onto the counter and started a lip-lock session of his own with his favorite troll.

Karkat blushed as he felt a pair of soft lips on his own. Moaning slightly he returned the kiss, deepening it. Feeling hands ghost around his waist, he reached around John and cupped his soft and firm ass. He gained a moan in response. Lifting up Johns shirt, Karkat placed butterfly kisses and headed to his chest where two perky bright pink nipples where located. Taking one into his mouth Karkat sucked onto it, while pinching and rubbing the other.

"A-ah, Karkat" John moaned lightly. Taking it upon him self to rub the candy corn like horns, making Karkat writher and moan in pleasure.

Dave couldn't take it any more. With quick speed, Dave quickly dipped his arms to pick up John, then quickly grabbing Karkat and tossing him over his shoulder like a sac.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Karkat screeched as he was tossed like an object and not a breathing organism. "Strider, what FUCK has gotten into you!" Dave wasn't paying attention at all; he only reacted on instinct as he raced up the stairs hopping over drunken bodies of his friends, trying to find a room that wasn't occupied.

After finally finding an un-occupied room, Dave tossed both boys onto the bed and locked the door then climbed onto the bed himself. All that teasing both Karkat and John did have made him even more aroused then he was before. His jeans became unbearably tight.

"D-Dave, are you ok?" John said, and then squeaked as his friend pulled him into a rough, forceful kiss. His tongue exploring his cavern and little soft moans emitted from the smaller boy as he felt his mouth getting violated as he grabbed a hand full of blonde hair, deepening the sloppy kiss. Pulling back Dave smirked at the younger one, and then turned his attention to Karkat who seemed to have enjoyed the show he had just witnessed.

"Come here, both of you" Dave's voice was deep and husky; sending shivers up the two boys spines. Obeying the command they crawled over to the blonde and stare at him with lust covered eyes. "This is how its going down," Dave said grabbing both of their chins "You're going to give me a nice blow job with those pretty little mouths of yours, then, I'm going too fuck you BOTH into this mattress. Clear?" Both boys nodded slowly. Smirking, Dave un-buttoned his jeans to reveal his rock hard bulge in his red and black brief's.

"Jegus, you're big" Karkat rubbed the bulge as John licked and kissed through the fabric of the under garments. Pealing off them off, the dragon hiding inside sprung to life. John licked and sucked the tip as Karkat worked on the shaft; licking and kissing along the vein's as he fondled the balls as he did so. Dave's breath hitched as he felt the skilled tongues go to work on his cock, grabbing a fist full of black hair Dave bucked his hips sending John off guard. Bobbing his head John did his best trying to deep throat Dave, pushing all the way to the hilt.

"Ah, fuck John your mouth is like heaven!" Dave bucked his hips into John's wet cavern faster and faster, slowing down from time to time trying hard not to choke his friend with his cock. Feeling nearly completed Dave pulled John off with a 'pop' and set him onto his lap, peeling off his pants, only leaving his shirt.

Karkat shifted uncomfortably as his suspenders grew slightly tighter then it was supposed too. Dave looked at Karkat and smirked, nearly forgetting about the troll because for once in his life he was quiet. Sliding up from under John, Dave pushed Karkat onto his back maneuvering himself behind the troll he lifted up his shirt then removed the suspender straps that held up the shorts. John pulled them down and blushed.

"Y-You're not wearing underwear?" Karkat blushed and turned his head to the side, slightly attempting to close his legs.

"Y-Yeah, so what! What's it to you, you fucking pink monkey- oh god!" John had then silenced the troll by placing his lips around the head of his cock, bobbing his head up and down moving quicker with every pace. Causing the troll to wither in pleasure as the skilled tongue got to work on his cock.

Dave kept the troll in place by keeping his hands on his shoulders and stroking his head, one of his hands accidentally brushing past Karkats horns.

Eye's going wide; Karkat bucked his hips letting out a silent scream as his hips started to move on its own into John's mouth forcing him to deep throat. Dave smirked and rubbed the same spot again, earning a delicious moan from the troll as he came. Candy red liquid dripped out of John's mouth as tried to swallow most of it.

Panting and slightly spent Karkat finally calmed down from his high slightly, but was soon short lived as he felt an invading finger push past his ring of muscle. "O-oh my god!" fingers passed a very delicate spot after a few seconds of locating, then was being mercilessly teased and prodded at, causing Karkat to scream in pleasure. "Oh, damn it Egbert, what ever your doing don't stop!" John nodded then added another finger and started a scissoring motion on Karkats hole. John added a third finger and moved them faster groaning as he decided to stretch himself as well.

"Karkat, you're so tight," John blushed "Ease up a little bit" Dave chuckled and took off his shades to get a better view at the show he was getting. John moved his fingers faster, god it felt good as he played with his prostate.

"I think you're ready now." Dave quickly got behind John, slicked him up with the bottle of lube he pulled from his pants pocket that was currently discarded on the floor, and positioned the raven haired boy near Karkats entrance. With one hard, swift motion, John was slammed into the troll tight entrance.

"AH! D-don't force it in you ass hole!" Karkat moaned as he felt the pleasure emitting inside of him. John looked as if he was about to blow his load as he was slammed inside of Karkats heat. Dave lubed up his own cock and positioned himself with John's entrance.

"Are you ready?" Dave asked. Not even waiting for an answer Dave slammed in as hard as he could, not even letting the two adjust he started his quick, merciless thrusting motion.

Karkat and John were in pure bliss at the moment. Moaning and screaming in pleasure, they both held onto each other for support as both of their holes were abused by the all mighty piercing that was done by Dave Strider. Karkat gripped onto John for dear life support as he felt his pleasure spot being stuck "Ah, FUCK! T-there! Shit, hit that spot again!" John slightly adjusted himself so he could hit that spot that took Karkat to heaven and back. Karkat moaned as his eye's rolled into the back of his head as he felt the pleasure strike him hard for he had never experienced anything like this before.

Maybe he should do this more often with the two bulge bitters more often.

Dave angled his thrust a little bit, trying to find that one spot that would make John call him a sex god for as long as he lived. After a few more thrust's John screamed loudly and clung onto to Karkat, face flushed and tears of pleasure whelming his eyes.

Found it.

"Oh, Dave you're going to make me cum!" John shouted as he buried his face into the crook of Karkats neck trying to muffle down his loud moans of pleasure. Dave kept up his animalistic thrust, abusing Johns G-spot witch each thrust.

"Fuck! Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god!" Karkat chanted before Cumming "Oh go- AHHH!" Karkat came hard, the candy red liquid squirting out onto his and Johns stomach, clamping down on Johns cock hard. John couldn't stand it anymore as he came along with Karkat, filling the troll to the brim with his white seed. Dave stopped his thrusting as the two had came from the crazy amounts of pleasure that they had both received. They both looked so cute and peaceful as they tried to calm down from their high, the after glow of their orgasm made them seem so adorable.

It was time to fuck it up.

After the two had seemingly calmed down, Dave began his thrusting, slowly but steady. "A-ah! John, stop m-moving damn it!" Karkat moaned.

"I-I'm not moving" John panted. Karkat groaned in annoyance and pleasure as he glared at the smirking blonde.

"F-Fuck Strider!" Dave chuckled and quickened his movements causing both boys to yelp in pleasure.

"But I am fucking you Karkat" Dave said in an innocent voice. Dave started to pick up the pace, causing both boys to turn into a moaning and withering mess. Dave held up Johns hips as Egbert's legs were about to give out from the abuse he was receiving. "Fuck, Egbert, you're so damn tight" Dave grunted as he slammed in again.

"Oh!" Karkat's eyes flew open as his body started to spasm "O-oh shit stop, god it's too much!" Karkat grabbed onto the bed sheet's his body feeling as if it was going numb, Dave pounded into John, causing a chain reaction "N-no I cant! It's too much!" Karkat screamed. Another thirsted caused the troll boy to clamp down onto Johns cock, which seemed to have caused his body to spasm.

"D- Da-… DAVVEEEE…! Ahhhhhhhhh… DAVE! DAVE! Uuuuuuuggh… DON'T- AH, DAVE! IT'S TOO GOOD!" Both boys were now moaning in pleasure as Strider banged into their thrashing bodies.

"FUCK!" Dave cursed as he felt John clamp around him "J-just a few more thrust!" After a few more minutes of drilling into the two boy's ass, Dave finally let his seed spill inside of John, Causing a chain reaction. Dave pulled out and rolled over onto the mattress panting and clearly out of breath. John pulled out once he had enough strength and landed in the middle of Dave and Karkat.

After calming down John spoke first.

"So, are we like, together now?" Dave turned onto his side to face John and smirked.

"Don't know, maybe a date would fix that?" Both earth boys looked at Karkat who grunted.

"One fucking date wouldn't hurt I guess" John cheered and cuddled Karkat, who was too tired to refused, and Dave smirked as he joined in on the cuddle fest.

Best party ever.

~0~0~0~

Vriska chuckled to herself as she closed the video camera. She skipped across the hall with her black mail and potent ional masturbation material.

Cute guys fucking was hot, but cute guys in costume fucking was even hotter.

"F-fuck, Sollux! Don't Thrust to hard!" Vriska's ears perked up as she heard the moans coming down the hall.

Sollux and Eridan, pre pair to become porn stars.

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><p><strong>Shit that was long too do! I hope you guys enjoyed that, because I'm going to crawl into a whole and burry myself in it.<strong>

**If you guys see any mistakes, please, tell me and show me so I can fix it? Cause I have no beta at all**

**HAPPY HALLOWEEN MOTHERFUCKERS!**


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